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We set standards in everything. Such standards set us non-distinctive from all others, thus labeling us normal in the society. In every standard we make comes with certain boundaries, which separates the norm from the extreme. Standards are always accepted by society as means of preserving peace and order in the community and avoiding any conflict amongst its members. Though as boring as it may sound, having to go against it is considered rebellious and rather dangerous as people may even suspect you of all sorts of negative rumors to justify your rather unacceptable behavior.
We set standards with ourselves, especially with people we choose to date. We make a list of good and acceptable qualities of a person, based on biased opinions of society, starting from what the elders have taught us since we started talking to the lessons we learned from events happened in the past.
Yet we often find ourselves going beyond those standards and choose a much exciting and more thrilling path. We tend to choose someone interesting, someone way out of our league, someone opposite of what we consider ideal. We often find ourselves attracted to this being which we know is totally wrong for us, yet we hang on to the mixed up feelings for as long as we can, so unsure of what will come about if we cling on to it for too long. We find them appealing, not because he or she is good-looking and presentable enough to go out with but because there's something about this person that you can't quite figure out exactly what you are trying to discover. You are aware though that he/she isn't exactly whom you imagined spending your precious time with. The good looks, however, is just a plus.
The question now is, what's the use of setting standards when you'll eventually fall for someone much different from what you indicated? Why go through the trouble of finding out if he has all the right goods first before getting to know him? Why not try to be adventurous for once and be utterly spontaneous about the idea that perhaps the person in front of you whose hands are of perfect fit with yours?
Perhaps it's freedom we are attracted to: the idea of going beyond closed doors, the ability to become immune to stereotypical mindset of things, the choices you can now make on your own, the ability to reach above the limitations. We pursue love because we want to be free, not to be slaves of a non-existent belief of how a relationship should be.
The truth is, there is no such thing as an ideal man or woman. There exists, however, a need for that certain spark which miraculously lifts one's soul like a feather.
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Article written by Leslie Real
